Daddy I'm Home

"I don't know if you guys have heard yet, but Rachel died."  I woke up Tuesday morning reading these words.  At first it didn't register, my brain became fuzzy and I thought, "No, not my roommate."  I went to my mom confused and I teared up a little bit.  I called my best friend, Dani and she came over and held me as I told her about my confused emotions.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to react.  I looked at pictures of her remembering that exact moment.  As soon as Dani left and shut the door, it hit me.  My whole body started hurting and aching.  Then God gave me this picture.  I saw Rachel running up to God.  She said, "Daddy, I'm home!"  And God responded, "I'm so proud of you baby girl." Then God said to me: "She's with me."  And I saw her cuddling with God.  She loved to cuddle. Rachel, this is for you.

Rachel is on the left

Rachel was the first person I met when I arrived in Belize.  She was wearing a Captain America shirt and a very fancy hat.  She confused me at first.  She started talking and would say a bunch of names that I had no clue how she knew them.  It took me a month to figure out that Samuel was her brother. 
Some of our nicknames for her were. Rachey Rache, Ray Charles, Ray Chillin. The second week we were there, she brought a baby bird home.  She named him Lazarus.  I hated that bird.  That bird chirped all night.  But it was very endearing how Rachel fed it every 2 hours and made sure that he was happy.  I was in awe of how much she cared for him.  She loved to care for things.  Especially people.  I was sick twice during the 5 months we spent together.  Both times she made sure that I had enough water.  She would take my temperature.  She brought me my meals.  She even gave me a massage one time and didn't care that I had nasty germs.
During our DTS, Rachel broke free of fear.  She had a fear of everything.  But as the weeks went on, I saw Rachel growing in her love for God and realizing that the enemy now has no power over her.  She went ziplining through the Belizean jungle.  She wrote this comment on one of the pictures: In Rachel's mind at the time: "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die in a freak zip lining accident! DEARSWEETLORDJESUS TAKE THE GLOVE!!!!!!" (We were using gloves.)  This comment made my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.
 But she did it.  She overcame her fear of heights and zip-lined over 50 feet! 
In Jamaica, streets are crowded and there's so many people.  I thought Rachel was going to have a hard time, but she just walked through like anyone else.  I had no idea what was going on inside her head (I never did), but she was definitely walking with Jesus.

Stories about Rachel always made me laugh.  During the first or second week, there was this one time Rachel was getting dressed and another one of our roommates left the door open.  Rachel made a "Are you kidding me face?" walked over to the door, did a model pose and then slammed the door shut.  She was so random, but that's what I loved about her!  She would do the most random things that were unexpected.

This is one of my favorite Rachel quotes.  One time she said to all of us girls. "Most of us look good without makeup."  We were all looking at each other like "Which one of us doesn't?"  We teased her a lot about that.

Rachel also loved to dance.  She did ballet and the Irish dance.  Of course she did.  In dance parties she would always start to Irish dance, and she was always really good at it too!  I loved watching her dance.

Rachel loved to make faces.  If you go on YouTube and look up the account Mangos and Bibles YWAM DP, there are 2 videos (they're both the same) of her making faces.  She was so embarrassed that she uploaded the same video twice.

My last memory is her blue scarf.  Rachel had this extremely large blue scarf.  She used this scarf as everything.  She used it to dry her hair.  She used it as a sash, a skirt, and a dress.

Rachel's favorite color was purple.  She loved the color purple.  This week I am wearing purple for her.  She had a purple backpack, a purple panda bear and purple beanie, purple shirts.  

This post does not do Rachel justice.  She truly was a unique gift to everyone around her.  I made her a playlist which is all that I'm listening to right now.  I've edited it, but I made sure that there are only 19 songs.  19 for the years that she lived.  I plan on her birthday to keep adding a new one.  A note that Rachel would have not liked this playlist.  She loved upbeat songs, but these are the only songs that I can listen to where I feel at peace.  I put 4 of her songs that she would always, and I do mean ALWAYS listen too.  Another reason why I love her.  Note: If you don't have Spotify, I will post a list of all the songs.
Rachel

Dear Rachel,
Remember that time we talked about if God gave us any rooms in heaven, what would our rooms have?  I remember you were having an allergic reaction to mold so you had to write on your iPad everything.   I hope that you are enjoying your purple room full of your stuffed animals.  I know that you are dancing with God now and that you are so joyful.  See you soon. Love you and I miss you dearly.
-Sami

Most of these pictures are my favorite memories with her, the others are my favorite moments of her (even though she may have not approved of them <3)