You better belize it.

As soon as I entered security, that's when it hit me that I was on my own.  I have never flown alone before, or even out of the country.  Tried 2 new things that day.  I only slept for 2 hours, so naturally I was tired.  I had a connecting flight in Dallas.  Then from Dallas it was to Belize City on the mainland.  I slept on both flights (not well but it was sleep).  As soon as I entered Belize City, I was extremely hot.  I was wearing tennis shoes with cargo pants and a sweatshirt.  I immediately took my sweatshirt off and found my way towards my gate.  Then from Belize City to San Pedro, I was to fly through a very small airline.  The flight was 15 minutes.  When the airport worker found out I was flying alone, she allowed me to sit in the cockpit.  That was fun.  I saw all the little islands and then we landed in the town of San Pedro.  The airport was a strip and then a square building.  It was very small.  I was greeted by two staff members and then one of them led me and another student to the base.  To get to the base, you have to get on a boat.  (If not, it would have been a four mile walk)

As soon as I got to Woodleaf, I was meeting people like crazy.  It was very energetic.  When I got to the YWAM base, one of the first things I noticed was how quiet and calm it was.  This caught me extremely off guard.  I was shown to my room and I was going to have 3 roommates.  Then the girl that showed me to my room, Brittany, said "Don't worry about the geckos, it's normal for them to be crawling on the walls."

"What?!" I said.  Geckos!  "Oh yeah, you'll hear them, it's normal."  My eyes went wide.  The first thing that popped in my mind was "Oh shoot dang."  Great, geckos.  On the walls.  That night I did spot a gecko right next to me on the wall.  I was scared out of my wits.  But they were more scared of me than I of them.  They also make this really high pitched noise that freaks me out.  The next night, I put headphones in so I didn't have to hear them.  Ignorance is bliss, right?  But now I am used to them.
One of the many things I like here is that I don't wear shoes.  Shoes make my feet sweaty and smelly.  Here, I never wear shoes unless I go into town.  Another thing I like here is a Belizean specialty called a fry jack.  I can't really describe it, but it is heaven.  Just google it.  I have made great relationships here.  There is a variety of us.  5 of us are from all over the US.  And then there's a Canadian, German, Norwegian, Danish, and a Swiss.  So we're very diverse.  The German girl was very excited about the World Cup.
Here at the base there's certain requirements, one of them was Academics.  Everything is oral.  We have to give oral presentations of the Gospel, a certain topic, 4 book reports, and a devotional.  The first was the oral gospel.  It was supposed to be 3-5 minutes.  I practiced the night before and when I went up there, I was very nervous but as soon as I started talking, the words just flowed through my mouth, like God was speaking through me, because he was.  Yesterday (July 21) I had to give my book report.  The book I chose was "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  That one I felt as though God told me to just talk.  And that's what I did and it went very well (it was a little short but still good.)
On Week 3, our speakers were YWAMers from Texas but spent the majority of their life in the YWAM base in Cape Town, South Africa.  They were born and raised in South Africa.  They had accents and everything.  At this point, I haven't felt God yet.  And I wasn't expecting too.  I didn't believe that God loved me.  I thought that he ignored me and that I was a thorn in his foot.  They talked about the Divine Plumbline.  It's very hard to explain in words what it is, but I sat there listening and what I loved about them was the stories that they told.  They have seen so many miracles and mended relationships, it was incredible.  But that wasn't me.  I didn't believe God can do that to me.  I felt as though my heart was very hardened.  I hadn't cried in 6 months.  And before that was 4 months.  I'm not easily moved.  On Wednesday, we were given a homework assignment.  We had to write a letter to God.  Then we were to pause for a minute and wait for a response and then write down God's response.  My first thought was "Great! God doesn't talk to me so this will be interesting."  We were to just keep writing and don't stop. Just keep writing.  I sat in the library and wrote my letter and then I wrote God's response.  It was very strange.  My pen just kept writing.  The next day we had to read them aloud.  I kept my head low, but Barbara (our speaker) called me out.  Everyone before me was crying and I thought: "Pshh, wimps. I'm not gonna cry."  I went up there.  Note: this isn't the whole letter because some stuff is personal that I don't want to publish online.  The ... is where I cut off something.  Anyways this is what I wrote:
Hey Dad,
I don't know really know what to write.  I do this all the time but now I'm drawing a blank. I pause here. Because I read my next line and it sinks in. What's wrong with me?  Why don't you love me? I skip the last question when I read aloud because I felt ashamed but God told me to go back and read it again.  I want to trust you, but it's so hard when you don't talk to me.  What am I doing wrong? Dad, I feel hurt...It makes me think that you are calling me selfish and uncaring.  And that I'm a pain to be around.  Is that what you think of me? My pen is running out.  I feel as though you don't want to talk to me. I don't understand. -Sami

Dear Sami,
That's right, don't forget the star. I use a star in my 'i's.  Because you are a star.  I have not forgotten you.  You are my most precious child.  Don't pause.  Keep writing.  Those bugs are bothersome, huh?  I created them. Haha.  Don't you worry my child.  I have something planned for you.  You are going to do great.  You're going to be my shining star.  My golden star.  And don't you worry about funds.  I'll talke care of it.  I will always take care of you.  I won't go.  I'm always here in your heart.  Just call to me.  And I will answer.  Yes, this is really me.  It's ok. It's ok. Don't be afraid. I love you. Just trust me. Ok? I had a vision of a scuba-diving OK sign which is basically you make an 'o' with your thumb and index finger. Cool.
Love,
Daddio

For the first time in 6 months, I cried.  I broke.  For the first time, I was sure that was God talking to me.  Those were God's words.  He said that to me.   The next day we all got in a circle and our speakers and peers prayed for us.  I was the last one (partly because I was trying to get by it.) When it was my turn I cried again.  I explained the areas where I was hurting.  I couldn't believe it. Twice in two days.  God gave me another letter spoken through a couple staff people:
 "You are my child, my child.  The only thing that has pained me, is that you have been hurt."  I won't say the whole letter because it's holy to me.  These letters that God has written I hold very dear to my heart, becuase they are his words.  While they're praying for me I had a vision of a big man holding a heart.  It's my heart.  There are little shiny spots in my heart (like diamonds) and the man (who is God) is pointing out all the shiny spots.  It's the stuff that he adores about me. The way he points at them makes him giddy, because he created me like that. He was proud of me.

Quick sidenote:  Our meditation passage this week was Psalm 51.  In Week 1, the staff handed us pieces of paper that had little sentences of what they were praying for.  One of my sentences was "Restore the Joy."  I was taken aback because I felt joyful at Woodleaf and then I went home and I felt as though God took away that joy.  Now I'm reading the meditation passage and one of the verses says "Restore in me the joy of your salvation."  That line stuck out to me.  As I'm meditating with my worship music going (on shuffle) the song "White as Snow" by Jon Foreman comes on which is based off of Psalm 51.  Ok God, you want me to restore the joy.

Back to the prayer circle, after praying everyone did some encouraging to me.  One of the staff members said: "I just have a word for you. Restore.  I don't know, it just came to me."  I think it's about time I find out what this word means.  The definition I looked up was "to bring back."  Yesterday, we had to sign up for our topical presentation.  One of the topics was "Restoration."  I knew God wanted me to take it so I did.  So I'm still figuring it out.

About a week ago, I found out where my outreach is going to be: Jamaica.  The other option was Chile.  And it turned out in the end that God wanted us all to go to Jamaica.  So our whole team is going to Jamaica which made us all very happy and surprised.  Our focus is Discipleship through Relationship.  When we found out, half of our fees were due that Friday (July 18)  On Wednesday (when I wrote my letter) I saw that I needed $1000 more.  A little discouraged, I thought "How am I going to get $1000 in two days?"  That's when God told me not to worry about the funds.  The Friday the dues are due, I get an email saying that they've contributed $1000 to my Outreach.  I couldn't believe it.  I'm no longer worried about my fees because I know God is going to provide.

Folks this is only a nutshell.  I think I will save more for my next post. God bless!

Woodleaf - Month Only

I got back on Friday.  I had to leave a day early in order to transition into something new.

Day 0.  As my parents drove up the hill to Woodleaf, I started to get sick.  I was very nervous and tempted to yell to turn back.  What if nobody liked me?  What if I didn't like anybody?  All these anxieties piled up, but I kept them quiet.  When I got there, I didn't know where to go so I stepped into the office that I was going to be working in.  It was the right place, it was where I checked in.  First person I met was Jen.  She was going to be my intern (kind of like my boss).  Then after I stepped outside this little blond boy asked me if I was looking for the girl dormitories.  (He immediately won my heart).
    I met my coordinators (Daniel, Amy, and Justin).  Then I headed up to my room and the first girls I met were Ashlee and Brittany.  Turns out Ashlee was the other office girl and we hit it off.  We both liked Pokemon (yes I am a nerd), we both liked the color blue, and were both single ladies (as was our intern Jen, so you can imagine what kind of conversations we had).  After that I began meeting so many people. We had a big group of people just sitting and getting to know each other.  I thought to myself, "Dang, this is so easy!"  We all had the same passion: Young Life.  A bus came carrying the rest of Team 614.
    Team 614 we had a certain structure. 614 stands for the month and year we were working June (6) and 2014 (14).  We stood on a foundation of gratitude covered in prayer and our pillars were humility, hospitality, excellence, and intentionality.  Another saying they had was "Do everything you're asked of +1".  This assignment was going to challenge me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
There is so much that happened on Day 0, I can't even put it into words.  Long story short: I made some great connections and we went to bed late.

Day 1 of Week 1
Got up, had breakfast. Went to training.  This was my job:
Greet anybody that came into the office.  Answer the phone with "Good Afternoon (or morning, or evening) Young Life's Woodleaf, this is Sami."  If there was a call for someone on property staff or an intern, I would have to radio them.  This was the scary part.  I have never used a radio in my life, except when I was younger and I was playing.  So, I would have to say something like "Jen, copy Jen."  This was the hardest thing, but I eventually got used to it and gained confidence.  The office was open from 8am-8pm.  So Ashlee and I switched off mornings and evenings.  We had to bring each other the meals that we were missing and whatever notes to give to campers and head leaders. (Head leaders were like our connection to campers, bless their heart).  On every Day 1, the buses would call us tell us that they were heading up.  Day 1 was definitely the most stressful.  That night was the Obstacle Course.  It was the first event and my job was to help coordinate a dance for the girls.  The song we danced to was "Run the World (Girls)"  I did not choreograph the dance but it was simple and easy to learn and you can tell that the girls had fun.  But after they learned the dance, they would go outside and start the Obstacle Course.  The purpose of the course was to get the campers to trust their leader.  A lot of the obstacles had to do with working with their leader and trusting them.

Day 2 of Week 1
The activity for this day was unity games.  I was handling the frisbee station.  At first I was pouring Kool-Aid into little cylinders, but that idea faded.  How the frisbee station worked was I would throw frisbees and the different cabins had to catch them and then walk them back to me.  But high schoolers don't exactly listen the whole time.  I would throw them and then they would get thrown back.  Every group did the same thing.  I got a couple of bruises on the second day.  But it was so worth it.  I had fun anyways.  The activity for that night was dodgeball and my job was to hand out ice cream towards the end.  I loved interacting with the campers.

Day 3 of Week 1
This is probably my favorite day of the week.  The morning activity was Messy games, unfortuneatly, I was working in the office during Messy games but I went the next week.  That night was Tableau.  In French that means "frozen picture."  All of Work Crew (the high schoolers there for a month) and Summer Staff (the college kids there for a month) would play a role.  Campers would exit their cabin time to find almost 100 people frozen in this western theme.  My role was a priestess.  There was a couple getting married and I was performing the ceremony.  As the campers were coming out, all of them were staring at us and trying to make us laugh.  I stayed hard.  Then we heard the gunshot go off and we all started moving.  30 seconds later the gunshot went off again and we froze in whatever we were doing.  The program people (the people that managed all the skits and events) would do their skit and play their roles.  Our cue was the song "Happy" and we all started dancing.  Then we would freeze again.  After that campers would come down and try to make us laugh.  I had a camper dance her rear end right in front of me.  But again, I stayed hard.  Campers then changed into their western clothes and ate dinner while we set up for square dancing.  Square dancing was probably my favorite part.  My partners were always great.  I can recite the whole song: "All join hands as you circle the ring. Stop where you are, give your partner a swing.  Swing that girl behind you.  Swing your own if you've felt she hasn't flown.  Allemande with your sweet corner maid. Do-si-do your own. Now we all promenade with your sweet corner maid singing oh Johnny oh Johnny oh."  I heard it way too much, but it was the best.  At first it would start off slow, and then it would go faster until you were out of breath.  After square dancing, the kids would go through a dance through the ages where they played well known songs from the decades for about 20 seconds then move on to the next and kids would dance.  The last song would be the conga and the goal was to get everyone in the conga line, and the leader conga (ed) all the way to the pool and kids jumped in the pool.  That is a fun-filled day.

Day 4 of Week 1
Day 4 is when things start to chill down.  There is only a morning activity.  The Regatta.  The Regatta is basically water games, but some out of water stuff.  There's a triathlon, there's a sand castle building contest, a synchronized swimming tournament, and a jousting tournament on the lake.  My job was to direct the runners on where to go.  That night was the cross talk.  Campers learn how Jesus died on the cross.  I went to this Club every week.  (Club is a term that Young Life uses for the gatherings for talks and up-front games)First thing was the musician would sing the songs: Treasure, Disney Medley, and I Still Haven't Found What I'm looking for.  Then Elsanna (Spanish for the sauna ;) would go up and ask Ollie to go to Woodleaf (a spoof of "Do you Wanna Build A Snowman.) "Do you wanna go to Woodleaf, Come on let's go and play.  I really want to blob with you and when we're through, get a Whirley by the waaaay.  Cause you are my best buddy so come to play, then we'll have cabin tiiiiime.  Do you wanna go to Woodleaf, it's gonna be here at Woodleaf!"  I might have gotten a few things wrong.  After she would sing a techno song would come on and a big snowman would come out.  Then they would pull the curtain and reveal 2 campers on a "wrecking ball."  The game was for the campers' leaders to be blindfolded and then throw tennis balls at the campers.  The campers would try to catch them and put them on their head (which had a Velcro helmet attached).   Then the musician would go up again and sing one of his original songs.  Then our speaker, Lily, would go up and give the cross talk.  After the talk on Day 4, campers would go into 15 minutes of silence and sit outside and watch the stars.  They were encouraged to talk to God in this moment.  All the lights were turned off so that they can see the stars.  On every Day 4, Summer Staff and Work Crew would have their meetings.  There was maybe 2 or 3 songs of worship and then somebody would go up and say a message on one of our pillars (Humility, Hospitality, Excellence, and Intentionality).  I loved this night.  Everyone was finally together and we just worshiped.

Day 5 of Week 1
Breakfast in bed and sleep-in day.  Praise Jesus.  Except I didn't know that it was sleep-in day and I got up early, got my coffee and thought there was going to be morning devo (devotional).  That day, I did not start right.  Day 5, there are no activities.  I also went to the club that night.  This club, the Work Crew had this thing called "Cardboard Testimonies."  Campers would walk into club and the whole Work Crew would be singing "You Are Holy (Prince of Peace)" It was very beautiful.  Then about 5 people at a time, they would lift up cardboards of how they thought of themselves or how they struggled.  Then flip over and what God did to them.  Again, very beautiful and moving.  After Work Crew was done, the last segmant of "Life Signs" would go on.  The whole club room was dark and 5 people sat in chairs.  Whoever was talking, got the spotlight.  One of my coordinators was one of them.  Some past clubs, they have been talking about their lives and how they came to God.  This was the only one I saw.  Then the last part was probably the most beautiful that moved me the most.  It was called the "Everything Skit."  You might of heard of it.  It is a perfect picture of what Jesus did.  Some fellow Summer Staffers put it together and practiced hard for it.  Ashlee, my partner in crime, was in it.  I looked at other versions on YouTube and my favorite will always be the one that they did.  I encourage you to look it up.

Day 6 of Week 1
This day is also very chill.  Not a lot of activities is planned but it is the White-Out dinner where we are supposed to be dressed in all white or black.  This dinner was fun for us girls because it was kind of fancy and sophisticated.  Day 6 is another favorite because it's very relaxed and I didn't have much to do.  But that night was Carnival night.  Normally this night is on Day 2 but this week it was on Day 6.  The station I handled was the ping pong station.  Kids would toss ping pongs and try to make it in a jar (kind of reminds you of something, right?).  The other stations were a frisbee station, a BB gun station, a bull-riding station, a "Make-Me-Laugh" station, a skee ball, a balloon station, and plenty more.  After every activity kids were given tickets.  Then, they would cash in their tickets to pie or water dunk their leader.  Or for cotton candy and popcorn.  I was excited the first hour but then I got very tired and was ready for bed.

Day 7 of Week 1
The morning campers leave.  The club for this morning is campers accepting Jesus into their hearts.  Young Life calls them "Say-So's."  It also was when the International Offering would take place.  The offering was for kids in other countries who can't afford to go to camp.  Anyways, a big chunk of the club room stood up, I would say at least 45 kids stood up accepting Jesus.  It was awesome.  As soon as campers left, Team 614 had a dance party.  Then we got ready for Turnover.  Ashlee and I deep-cleaned the Mayor's Office, mopping and sweeping, and balanced the cash drawer, and counted the International Offering.  I was very surprised every week of how much people gave.

Then it was Day 1 all over again.  There were some very special weeks.  One week, we had over 80 Capernaum kids.  Capernaum is part of Young Life that specializes in kids with disabilities.  There was one kid, Trey, who came the first week who connected with the lifeguards a lot.  He wrote them letters afterwards and called the office quite a lot.  The last week we were there, he called almost 5 times a day.  One day, Ashlee talked on the phone with him for an entire hour.  He showed me how impacting Young Life can be.  The last week, we had a group called Impacting Hearts.  These kids grew up in foster care homes.  Many were broken.  Many brought weed.
   I can't remember what Day it was of Week 4, but it was a Club where Life Signs were happening.  Except instead of 5 people, it was 6.  They added someone.  He started talking about how he grew up in a foster care home and how he didn't meet his mother until college.  When he met her, he asked her: "Do you even love me?"  Then the kids were given the opportunity to reflect.  One kid in the way corner of the room raised his hand.  He was from Impacting Hearts.  He asked if he could come on stage.  So he did and he embraced this man for a solid 3 minutes.  They didn't even know each other.  Then the whole room was crying and hugging each other.  Good job God.

Working in the office was challenging.  I had a bunch of free time.  I read "The Fault in Our Stars."  One day I even spent 3 hours in the Bible.  People asked me if I ever got bored.  My answer is no.  I never did.  I journaled, I read, and I meditated.  Plus I got lots of visitors and had some sweet conversations.  I loved working in the office, I don't think I would do it again but I would say that about any job.  God taught me how much I needed this community, how important it is to meditate on him, and he prepared me for what is going to happen in about 6 hours.