Daddy I'm Home

"I don't know if you guys have heard yet, but Rachel died."  I woke up Tuesday morning reading these words.  At first it didn't register, my brain became fuzzy and I thought, "No, not my roommate."  I went to my mom confused and I teared up a little bit.  I called my best friend, Dani and she came over and held me as I told her about my confused emotions.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to react.  I looked at pictures of her remembering that exact moment.  As soon as Dani left and shut the door, it hit me.  My whole body started hurting and aching.  Then God gave me this picture.  I saw Rachel running up to God.  She said, "Daddy, I'm home!"  And God responded, "I'm so proud of you baby girl." Then God said to me: "She's with me."  And I saw her cuddling with God.  She loved to cuddle. Rachel, this is for you.

Rachel is on the left

Rachel was the first person I met when I arrived in Belize.  She was wearing a Captain America shirt and a very fancy hat.  She confused me at first.  She started talking and would say a bunch of names that I had no clue how she knew them.  It took me a month to figure out that Samuel was her brother. 
Some of our nicknames for her were. Rachey Rache, Ray Charles, Ray Chillin. The second week we were there, she brought a baby bird home.  She named him Lazarus.  I hated that bird.  That bird chirped all night.  But it was very endearing how Rachel fed it every 2 hours and made sure that he was happy.  I was in awe of how much she cared for him.  She loved to care for things.  Especially people.  I was sick twice during the 5 months we spent together.  Both times she made sure that I had enough water.  She would take my temperature.  She brought me my meals.  She even gave me a massage one time and didn't care that I had nasty germs.
During our DTS, Rachel broke free of fear.  She had a fear of everything.  But as the weeks went on, I saw Rachel growing in her love for God and realizing that the enemy now has no power over her.  She went ziplining through the Belizean jungle.  She wrote this comment on one of the pictures: In Rachel's mind at the time: "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die in a freak zip lining accident! DEARSWEETLORDJESUS TAKE THE GLOVE!!!!!!" (We were using gloves.)  This comment made my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.
 But she did it.  She overcame her fear of heights and zip-lined over 50 feet! 
In Jamaica, streets are crowded and there's so many people.  I thought Rachel was going to have a hard time, but she just walked through like anyone else.  I had no idea what was going on inside her head (I never did), but she was definitely walking with Jesus.

Stories about Rachel always made me laugh.  During the first or second week, there was this one time Rachel was getting dressed and another one of our roommates left the door open.  Rachel made a "Are you kidding me face?" walked over to the door, did a model pose and then slammed the door shut.  She was so random, but that's what I loved about her!  She would do the most random things that were unexpected.

This is one of my favorite Rachel quotes.  One time she said to all of us girls. "Most of us look good without makeup."  We were all looking at each other like "Which one of us doesn't?"  We teased her a lot about that.

Rachel also loved to dance.  She did ballet and the Irish dance.  Of course she did.  In dance parties she would always start to Irish dance, and she was always really good at it too!  I loved watching her dance.

Rachel loved to make faces.  If you go on YouTube and look up the account Mangos and Bibles YWAM DP, there are 2 videos (they're both the same) of her making faces.  She was so embarrassed that she uploaded the same video twice.

My last memory is her blue scarf.  Rachel had this extremely large blue scarf.  She used this scarf as everything.  She used it to dry her hair.  She used it as a sash, a skirt, and a dress.

Rachel's favorite color was purple.  She loved the color purple.  This week I am wearing purple for her.  She had a purple backpack, a purple panda bear and purple beanie, purple shirts.  

This post does not do Rachel justice.  She truly was a unique gift to everyone around her.  I made her a playlist which is all that I'm listening to right now.  I've edited it, but I made sure that there are only 19 songs.  19 for the years that she lived.  I plan on her birthday to keep adding a new one.  A note that Rachel would have not liked this playlist.  She loved upbeat songs, but these are the only songs that I can listen to where I feel at peace.  I put 4 of her songs that she would always, and I do mean ALWAYS listen too.  Another reason why I love her.  Note: If you don't have Spotify, I will post a list of all the songs.
Rachel

Dear Rachel,
Remember that time we talked about if God gave us any rooms in heaven, what would our rooms have?  I remember you were having an allergic reaction to mold so you had to write on your iPad everything.   I hope that you are enjoying your purple room full of your stuffed animals.  I know that you are dancing with God now and that you are so joyful.  See you soon. Love you and I miss you dearly.
-Sami

Most of these pictures are my favorite memories with her, the others are my favorite moments of her (even though she may have not approved of them <3)

Answering the Call - short and sweet

I have been dormant for about 3 months.  I don't want to be that person that goes on a mission's trip and then goes back to the normal life thinking that it was just an experience.  It was so much more!  God showed me so many truths to me that I hope I will never forget.  The months that I have been back have been revealing.  Because God does not live in Belize or Jamaica.  He is everywhere!

   Everyone asks, "So how is it being back?" And I always say the same answer.  It's hard.  I am used to being surrounded by people that uplifted me, encouraged me, and talked about Jesus EVERY DAY!  And now, there are some people that I talk to and they get freaked out that I wanna go deep with them.  Now that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with those people.  I just went on this life-changing adventure, there are people that want to hear all about it and then there are people are like "Yeah, you went to Belarus and Japan that's great. Heard enough."  Then there are people who say, "So how's college going for you? What school do you go to again?"

  It's also hard when there are inside jokes that you are used to saying aren't that funny back home but are HILARIOUS to you.  Another hard thing is I woke up to the same people every day for 5 months.

 My 3 other roommates were no longer sleeping in the same room as me.  I was no longer waking up with them or walking to breakfast with them or going back to the our little house with them.
   I have come back to a home where I have radically changed but home has stayed the same, therefore I have to learn to stay my radical self instead of falling back into a routine.  I wanted to stay radically different.

YWAM has its different speakers every week and they speak about God, but since I have been back, God has been my speaker every week.  And my word for the season is BLESS. Most of the quiet times that I have been having, God has been blessing me in so many different ways.  Now I am going to tell you something that is told to us all the time, but I may have just accepted it as true.

God wants to bless me.  God wants to give me the desires of my heart.  Parents want to spoil their child, therefore; God wants to spoil me. Because I am his child. HIS child.  During college winter break, my best friend Dani was home after spending a month in India and she invited me to go visit her Nana in Santa Cruz.  I didn't want to pass up an opportunity to spend time with her while I could.  So we drove to Santa Cruz and we took Nana out to Thai food.  I had just spent a bunch of money on a huge trip so my finances are a little low but I had a job and I was learning to save.  At this time I was trying to save money but I didn't mind paying. But in the end, Nana insisted on paying.  It was a little blessing that I knew God was giving me.  And the food was one of the best food I have ever tasted.  On the way back, I didn't use my GPS for directions back just relying on my memory and road signs.  We ended up taking the long road back, highway 1.
      For those of you who have never been to the Bay Area, Highway 1 is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen (in the right season).  There were huge fields of beautiful flowers and green mountains that kind of reminded me of Lord of the Rings and it's along the coast.  So a wrong turn ended up being another one of God's blessings for me and I spent it with my two best friends. (Dani and Jesus).


The other thing that everybody asks is "What's next?" For most of you, I answered that I wanted to do a Young Life internship.  Long story short, God told me in a dream that that may not be the best thing for me right now.  But these past few months, I have had no idea what I was going to do next.  I didn't know if I was going to be accepted into the internship or if I wanted to continue with YWAM or I even thought about doing a different missionary organization.  All I knew was that I was a missionary and I wanted to pursue that in another country.  So God gave me exactly what I wanted.  (Remember, he wants to spoil me!!?)  God has called me back to Belize doing a secondary school with YWAM called the FCM (Foundations of Counseling Ministry) that starts in July.

This didn't come suddenly.  It was in the back of my mind the whole time but I thought that the internship I wanted was going to be The Thing That I Was Going To Do Next.  The best way I can explain it is a story.  © Britney Timberlake.  Sometimes at work, when my boss asks a group of us "Who wants to help me out and set up our meeting."  Some people raise their hands and some people don't.  Those that raise their hands, will help.  This is similar to the parable of the Great Banquet.  God has invited me to this banquet and I am accepting his invitation and answering his call.  God did not tell me, "You have to do the FCM"  He just asked me and I am simply raising my hand.

Thank you for all who has invested in me during this time of my life.   You are investing in me just by reading my blog and being interested in me and what I do.  You are one of God's blessings to me.

the Belizean Flag

Jamaican me crazy

Ok so this has taken me a long time to write this for a couple of reasons. 1: is that I needed rest.  Once I came back, I realized how tired I was and number 2 is procrastination to be honest.  So I left off before I left for Jamaica.  There are a couple things you need to know about Jamaica and the people:

1. They have the most churches per capita in the world.  Jamaica is very over evangelized and if you ask everything there if they know Jesus, at least 90% will say yes and that they go to church every Sunday.
2. There is a lot of fear there
3. It is one of the most happiest countries in the world
4. Men like to talk to the girls a lot (this is their culture whether they are married or not, men in Jamaica will call out a girl from across the street and say "Hey beautiful, come over here!")
5. They are very very very flexible and open-ended

So when I hear about outreaches in YWAM, I hear about all about their evangelism and talking in a church and preaching to people.  Our team only preached a couple of times in Jamaica.  Our theme for our Outreach was "Discipleship through Relationship."  Our goal was not to evangelize, but to make relationships with people and that is exactly what we did.

We arrived at a base called "Stone's Hope."  This base is in Mandeville and it's also not on the YWAM website.  So when people think YWAM Jamaica, they think of the Montego Bay campus.  As we were doing intercession for the base we got the sense that it was the "forgotten" base, but God did not forget it.  He sent us to that base to make relationships with the people.  At Stone's Hope, there was a primary school (from preschool to fifth grade).  There's also a Crossroads DTS going on (a Crossroads DTS is for people ages 25+)  However there were very young people in that DTS and one older man.

Entrance to the base

Our dorm is the top middle building, the school is right next to that

When we arrived we did not want to be there. I tried convincing our Outreach leader, Brittney to go somewhere else but she said it probably won't happen.  The third night we were there was when we had the intercession for the base.  We felt a spirit of apathy and that the people here were tired and spiritually dry.  We knew then that this was where we were supposed to be.  God convicted our hearts that night making us realize how our attitudes were towards that place and he turned it around and we became excited to make relationships with the people there.  The next weeks we helped out in work duties and the school.  I helped out in the preschool one time and taught PE every other day for a couple of weeks.  One of the staff there had contacts with the other schools in the area so for the next two weeks, we did devotionals in the schools.

Every morning when kids go to school they have a daily devotional.  I'm not so sure how it goes when we are not running them but I know that they sing the National Anthem everyday.  This is also where I believe fear comes from.  As we interacted with the kids there, they were very afraid of the teachers.  The students were disciplined often.  There was one time, one of the teachers said "CLOSE YOUR EYES, YOU'RE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD!"  The more we talked with people and played with kids, we knew that all they really want is to be loved.

Our devotionals included sometimes singing a song, always a funny skit, and then a small talk.  

All in all, it takes about 20-30 minutes.  Sometimes we had a skit and then related it somehow to Jesus. In our talks we wanted to tell the children how loved they are and how powerful they are.

Another ministry we did was running youth groups.  Remember what I said about Jamaica being so flexible? So sometimes there were times our contacts would say, "Oh yea you don't have to run the program, you just have to participate."  Brittney said to us, "Let's prepare anyway."  That night we were driving to the youth group and we found out that we were actually preparing it.  Thank Jesus we prepared.  But there were other times that we were caught off guard and we had to speak or do a skit.

Kingston

For five days we stayed in the capital of Jamaica, Kingston.  This was very different.  At Stone's Hope there was so much space to have a quiet time.  But this week we were staying a woman named Pam's house.  She had a lovely home, I loved it! But I would wake up in the morning to do my Jesus time and there would be 6 people in the living room doing their quiet time.  I would go throughout the house and couldn't find anywhere alone.  In the girls' room, we were all squished together.  it was very hard to be alone that week. 

We were going to work with intercity kids who lived in poverty.  We worked with two missionaries who every day did kind of like a Sunday school with kids in different areas.  It was so awesome! The kids were so poor and you could tell by the clothes that they wore and how much they attached to us.  So first we would act out a bible skit or a funny skit and then Mike, one of the missionaries would ask the kids questions about the skit and if they answered correctly they would get a prize. Two of the days their prize was getting their face painted.

Now there's a story here.  In Belize, one time we were sitting in the library and talking about Outreach and I said, "I hope there's face paint! Face painting is my passion!" I don't know why I said that but I really do love face painting.  The next couple weeks, my fellow DTS friends always made fun of me of when I said "Face painting is my passion!"  When we had an intercession for our Outreach, I prayed that there would be face paint.  So when we first met Mike he asked us, "Do we have any face painters here?" I shrieked.  God knew I wanted this and he gave it to me. He blessed me and that's when I realized.  God wanted to bless me.  God isn't someone that's stingy with his blessings.  God wants to spoil me.  And he showed me that through face paint.  

In Kingston we went to places where taxi drivers don't even go because it is normal to hear gunshots every day.  We had an awesome taxi driver.  She showed us the town where Bob Marley grew up and then she took us to his statue.  That was in the afternoons.  In the mornings we partnered with Pam's church and we actually did evangelizing just walking through the streets talking to people.  Some of the stuff that they wanted us to do we didn't exactly agree on.  The tracks they wanted us to pass out said "Do you know what you miss out on when you know God?" Then you open them. "HELL." In big bold letters.  When this is true, it was a very harsh way and again, using fear.  Luckily when I was walking with Pam, we just talked with people and prayed with them.  One woman I met was truly amazing.  She was 82 years old and she had died the week before but God came to her and said that he wasn't done with her.  So he brought her back to life.  She wasn't very able, but if God wasn't done with her, I believe she can do a lot.  She inspired me, so that's something.

The day we got back to Stone's Hope, we got a very warm welcome. Some of the DTS students greeted us, the staff greeted us, and one girl came to Stone's Hope because she knew we were coming back.  One staff said that the place was very quiet the time we were gone.  God was telling us: "See! You're needed here and I am working through you!"  I couldn't believe it.  We were having a conversation with a staff member and that same girl, Chantel, who came to Stone's Hope to see us and we made a funny joke and then Chantel says "See! Laughter. You don't hear that a lot around here."  This brought me encouragement.  We were making a difference.

We were entering our last two weeks and we wanted to give it our all.  The week after Kingston, we were advertising a crusade going on in a village called Spice Grove.  Also during this week we went to children's homes.  This was also the week that I got chikun gunya. This is a virus where all your muscles and joints are so sore that you can't even walk.  For two days I had a splitting headache and I couldn't walk.  I had to go to the bathroom all the time and I didn't want to drink anything.  I hope that you never get it. But because of this I couldn't go to the children's home and I was so sad.  I was in bed all day and I couldn't do anything.

Anyways, Spice Grove.  Spice Grove isn't a town that you pass through to get somewhere.  If you are in Spice Grove, it's because you want to be there.  We went on prayer walks, sat in the back of a van  and spoke on a loudspeaker, handed out flyers.  All of this was leading up to a 3-day crusade.  The first day we played with kids all day.  We had a bouncy house and stations that had a bunch of activities.  We played field games, tag, relay races.  And lastly, we had a message for the kids.  The children were told of Jesus and there was an altar call.  Most of them went up and accepted Jesus into their hearts.  It was a beautiful sight.  What was even more awesome was we handed out shoeboxes from the Samaritan's Purse, which is a Christian organization that gives gifts in shoeboxes to kids all around the world.  To see the smiles on their faces was totally God.

This whole week we all were experiencing spiritual warfare.  You may think that it's demons and stuff, but it's actually not.  Most of it is lies that the enemy tells us.  That week I had feelings of resentment, bitterness, and anger towards my whole team.  All of us were getting on each other's nerves and starting to hate each other.  We were complaining some.  So the 2nd to last week we had, we had our weekly debrief where we talk about the past week and then move on to the next.  I remember this moment so clearly.  /We split into groups to debrief and I remember in my group, I went first to say how my week went.  And I broke down in tears.  It just happened.  I didn't realize how much feelings I had bundled up.  Then it turns out that everybody else felt the same way.  Brittney ended our debrief by bringing pink nail polish and said, "I'm bringing us back to the start."  We were reminded of Tiffany's week of God's PINKY promises (see previous blog).  Then she played "God's Great Dance Floor" which had a very significant meaning to our team.

Remember that children's home that I missed? Well, we got to go again and this time I came.

This girl, Athalia, just wanted to be held. All the tie, which I was fine with. :)

Every Wednesday, Stone's Hope had a community meeting, like in Belize, their church meeting.  It turned out to be an honor dinner for us.  All the staff said something about us.  I remember the base director saying:  "You brought so much life and joy in this place.  The week you were gone in Kingston, it was dead quiet.  Never has this base felt more alive."  I smiled knowing God did use us.  Saying goodbye to that base was amazing.  Everyone came to say goodbye and told us how much of a blessing we were to that base.  And that concluded our time with Stone's Hope.

Our last week in Jamaica we stayed at the other YWAM base in Montego Bay, which is more of a touristy location in Jamaica.  Our first day of ministry was our last devotional in a school.  We had to climb up this huge hill to get there.

At the end of our climb

We gave it our all. We did Bus Stop, we sang a Jamaican song and a gospel song that was popular in Jamaica.  One of the main messages that we gave to the children is how powerful they can be and that they don't need to be afraid of God.

A view of Montego Bay

And that my friends, concludes my Jamaican outreach.   I know my blogs are long and sometimes probably don't make sense.  But sometimes it helps me write it down to process the five months I went through.  And there is SO MUCH MORE, but words cannot describe.

Falling in love with my best friend

Lecture Phase has come to an end.  It's just too crazy.  I have spent 12 weeks here in Belize.  It is so unreal.  And I have learned a lot.  A lot of healing was done for me.  I have realized how much I was hurt and a bunch of lies were told to me that I didn't even know.  I just believed them.  I believed that I was a pain to be around. I believed that no one was proud of me.  I believed that I was selfish and uncaring.  I believed that I needed to be fixed.  I believed that I was a bitch and unlovable.  I believed that I was disgusting.  Why? Because they were told to me, some by my Enemy and some by people.  I don't say this to have a pity party but because I have to.  I blamed myself for all of these lies and I didn't acknowledge the hurt inside of me and that Satan was just getting a hold on me.  In week 3, Barbara asked me to forgive those that hurt me and I did and God told me that he loved every bit about me.  In week 8, Jeff embraced me and told me how proud God was of me.  And then when I did my spiritual timeline, Ashley wrote down all the truths that I needed to hear.  I am worth listening to.  I have a voice.  God will never crop me out.  I am noticed.  I am a daughter of the King.  There's about 20 more.

Week 10 - Holy Spirit
Our speaker this week was the lovely Ally who works at the base.  I love this woman of God to death.  If there's one thing that I've noticed about her is that she is overflowing with the Holy Spirit.  She just goes with wherever he takes her.  One of the prominent things I remember is talking about the Fruits of the Spirit.  We had an activity of having fruit at a bunch of tables and each table was labeled one of the fruits (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).  We then prayed over which fruit we felt like we needed to work on.  Eating the fruit was just for fun. ;)  We did another activity where we laid out on the dock.  I laid there and felt the wind thanking God for it.  The past two days there was no wind and the mosquitoes would come out when there was no wind.  So I like it when there is a lot of wind here.  Ally was asking us to describe the wind.  I don't remember anything what people said but Ally said at the end that the wind is something that we don't normally notice but when it's not there, we notice that it's not there.  Kinda like the Holy Spirit.  So now every time I feel the wind, I think that the Holy Spirit is with me and when the wind is not there, he's still with me.

Week 11 Pinky promises
This week our speaker, Tiffany.  If there was any word to describe Tiffany it would be colorful.  One of the first things she said to me was: "Would you like a cookie?"  I loved her.  And then the first thing she said in lectures was "I love you guys."  She sounded like she genuinely meant it.  She's been praying for us for a while.  She told us lots of stories that I loved a lot.  She had my attention the whole time.  The reason why the week was called Pinky was because each letter represented 5 promises that God gave her.  P: Precious to me are your thoughts O God.  How vast is the sum of them.  If I were to count them they would be more than the grains of sand.  Psalms 139: 17-18 I: Immeasureably more than we can ask for or imagine is your power at work inside of me.  Ephesians 3:20  N: Never will I leave you Never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 K: Kingdom of heaven is not of this earth John 18:36. Y: You are the light of the world Matthew 5:14.  Another thing about Tiffany. She loves pink. Everything was pink.  Balloons, sweater, water bottle, mustaches, etc.

One more thing about this week.  Remember how of the staff, Becky found some shoes that fit her perfectly?  Well they were red and she was freaking out because they were red and she said to me "You will find out why in Tiffany's week. They represent Jesus."  The next couple weeks I kept pondering, "How do red shoes represent Jesus?" I thought about it a lot and I couldn't figure it out.  So Tiffany came and she talked about a dream where she was lacking red shoes.  She didn't know what it meant.  But it dawned on her.  Then she showed on her PowerPoint a picture of Jesus' feet...nailed on a cross.   They were soaked in blood.

Sorry for the goriness.  Jesus wore red shoes first.  I got Jesus bumps.  Then something stirred inside of me.  Tiffany showed us a clip of "Passion of the Christ." It was the scene where they nailed him on the cross.  This was hard for me to watch, but I saw Jesus' face and his face was totally messed up.  But I saw love on his face.  Then all of a sudden I got butterflies in my stomach.  As Jesus struggled to get on the cross, I thought: What motivates him??  And then I knew.  I motivated him.  You motivated him.  He was thinking: "Think of Sami, think of Sami." And all of everyone's names.  We were motivating him.  He knew that this was the only way he could be with us.  I got butterflies again.  I fell in love.  I was in love.  I got this image of me in a wedding dress and Jesus was holding me.  Our foreheads were touching.  Now I was getting major butterflies.  I'm in love with this guy.  And THAT'S how I fell in love with my best friend.  I can't really explain the feeling, but that's the best I can explain it.  I hope that you can experience it.

Tomorrow, I leave for Jamaica.  Please pray for my fear against the bugs and disunity.  Our team needs to be unified and it's so easy to be disunified.  Thank you all!!! I love you!!!

Our Outreach team

Belize-Month 2

Wow, so much has happened this past month.  I think I left off after Week 3.  Well it is now Week 10, so I have a lot to cover.  Week 4 was about hearing the voice of God.  I was not excited because I was afraid of disappointment with God.  The letter was so precious to me, it was my only connection with God and I thought that was going to be my only connection.  Our speaker, John, had been involved with YWAM for about 40 years.  He told us that God speaks in many ways, it's mostly a still quiet voice.  But how do you know if it's God and not your consciousness.  Well for one, if it lines up with Scripture, then it's God.  If it's something negative, then it's clearly the enemy.  And most of the time, if you try to talk to God, the first thing that pops in your head is God.  Doesn't always work but sometimes it does.  It did for me when I wrote my letter.  Then John told us the story of Samuel how he kept waking up in the night hearing his name and he realized that it was God.  "If you wake up in the middle of the night, ask God if it's him calling you."  I liked this, I never thought of it before.  Then the Wednesday of that week we had a team building.  We all had partners.  My partner was Ben, one of the guy students here.  Then some of us were blindfolded, Ben was the one that ended with the blindfold.  They took us to the volleyball court. I led him.  The volleyball court was full of obstacles.  Chairs, coconuts, tables, lawn chairs, palm tree leaves, etc.  Then Ashley, the staff coordinating it, drew a line about 10 feet away from the court.  She said that the partners of the blindfolded people (which included me) had to stay behind this line.  Then I had to give Ben directions around the obstacles from one end of the court to the other.  As soon as the game started there was a lot of yelling.  Everyone was trying to direct their partners to the end.  "BEN! GET DOWN ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES AND CRAWL UNDER THE NET!" He ended up staying on his hands and knees until the very end.  It was just easier.  Ben was the second one to finish.  Then it was my turn.  I got blindfolded and brought to the end of the court.  Then the game started.  I can't really describe what happened after that but I can try.  It felt like chaos.  I tried listening to Ben's voice. But I couldn't hear him.  Everyone was shouting so loud.  Then I heard a high pitched "SAMI! SAMI!" That was not Ben.  I decided to take a step forward.  I took a couple steps and then I heard "SAMI STOP!! SAMI LISTEN TO ME! IT'S JORDANA! LISTEN TO ME!"  That's weird.  Jordana wasn't my partner.  I listened more for Ben's voice.  I found his voice but it sounded like he wasn't talking to me.  I tuned back in to Jordana's voice.  And I followed her instructions.  I got sent back twice because I touched obstacles.  This whole time the staff people were talking to me telling me  "Stop, there's an obstacle there.  Now take two steps to the left."  And I listened to them and that was one time I got sent back.  The staff member that brought me back asked me: "Do you wanna quit?" She sounded serious.  I shook my head.  Absolutely not.  The third time I'm going through the staff is still talking to me telling me directions.  I tuned them out.  Ashley screamed in my face.  I screamed but I eventually made it through.  I was the second one to finish.  Once everyone finished the staff brought us back and asked about our frustrations.  We all agreed that it was the staff telling us the wrong directions.  "Yes, we did give you wrong directions but we also put a little bit of truth to them." This was true.  Some of the directions that Jordana gave me were the same that Zoe, our school leader, told me.  "How does this relate to hearing the voice of God?"  This game relates to it because we just have to tune into God's voice.  We have to learn to recognize his voice and know that it's his.  The enemy will tell us lies, but he will put a little bit of truth to it.  I think this has been my favorite team building so far.  It made hearing the voice of God a lot clearer.  I imagined God trying to speak above all the voices I hear. "SAMI STOP!! SAMI LISTEN TO ME! IT'S YOUR DAD!  LISTEN TO ME!"  It  was a great week.  That Friday also was my birthday.  It was a great birthday, I wasn't expecting presents but my friends put together a goodie bag for me, it was the sweetest thing and I picked out the movie for our movie night: The Princess Diaries.  Yup. Great week.

The next week has probably been one of my favorite weeks so far. Our topic: Spiritual Warfare. Our speaker, also named John, was this ex-military man that lived in Belize on the mainland and runs a camp there.  He liked to talk loud and he had a lot of cool stories about the military and...Spartans.  Sometimes he would be talking and then all of a sudden say, "SPARTANS, prepare for glory!"  The Spartans were really cool soldiers.  They were huge men that wanted to fight for their families.  He also told stories about biblical heroes. Probably the most memorable thing he taught was his perfect enemy attack.

The left hand side he has soldiers sitting there and at the bottom hand side.  The x is the ambush point, the fight sight.  He would choke his enemy out, get them on the x and then the ones that would try to escape towards the trees, there would be trip-wire where grenades and bombs would go off and have no survivors.  Then John looked at us and said "Get off the X guys.  The enemy will use anything against you: lust, drugs, lies, he will choke you out and then get you on the X."  Now every movie night, we'll point out to the main character: "GET OFF THE X!"  Every week we have to memorize a memory verse that the speaker would give us.  John laughed and gave us the verse: 1 John 4:7-19.  12 verses.  It doesn't look like much but when you look it up it's a lot to memorize in 4 days.  I didn't.  I memorized it in 6 but I loved the time I took to memorize it.  It's all about love and how important it is to love one another.  I thought it was so interesting how in 12 verses it says the world love almost 25 times and yet some churches still don't get it.  That Saturday there was also a wedding.  Two of the staff members got ready.  It was a very small wedding.  There were approximately 30 guests which included our DTS class.  We got all dressed up, took lots of pictures, and participated in the dance party.  It was awesome!

This was at the wedding. Siemona (on my right) is my roomate from Denmark.  Ursina behind me on my left is my roomate from Switzerland.  And then behind Siemona and I are Johanna from Germany and Courtney from Canada.  We all had an amazing time dancing and just being ourselves.

Week 6: Freedom

Our speaker this week was one of the base directors.  Her name is Lynn.  Lynn might be one of my favorite human beings on the planet.  She was so hilarious.  She started off with a ball and chain around her foot.  And then she started talking about the little things.  She explained how the big things are important but so are the little things.  So we had a circle of apologies, all mostly little things, but they meant something.  Our memory verse was Matthew 11:28-30.  "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gently and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  One day, Lynn had us do Lexio Divina which is where the verse is read about 3-5 times and you meditate on it and find what stands out to you.  We laid down on mattresses with blankets.  Lynn repeated the verse over and over again.  It was hard not to fall asleep but it was good.  I felt like God was calming me.  What did I take away from this week?  Growing up I always thought God will condemn me.  I needed to be good and follow all the rules or else I am bad and he is disappointed in me.  But Lynn taught me that God will never condemn me, he will only convict me.  Lynn also had a game for us.  She gave us two characters from the Bible and split us into two teams.  My team got David.  We had to look through the Bible and timeline his life.  Meaning we had to get all the major events that happened in his life, that shaped him, find out how old he was and make a "timeline" of his life.  After we finished that, Lynn told us to then timeline our own lives.  I got a big shiny piece of paper with some sharpies and I had to timeline my life.  Doing this has probably been the hardest thing I've done here.  I didn't remember anything.  I put down the stuff that I could remember (we were supposed to put mostly the bad stuff, the stuff that made us turn away from God) and I put some good stuff in there too.  But I got very frustrated.  I didn't know what to put.

Week 7: Biblical Worldview

This week was also very awesome.  This week had a lot of knowledge.  Our speaker's name was Peter.  He is the base director in Denver, Colorado.  I don't know if any of you heard but a couple years ago there was a shooting at a YWAM base.  Peter is the director at that base.  We heard his story and it was so sad to just hear someone that knew the victims talk about that night.  The big question was "Why does God allow suffering?"  This is a very dangerous question and I don't know the full answer but I will try to answer it the best way I can with what I learned.  1. God is just. 2. Because God is just, there are things that he won't do. 3. God gave us free will.  We can do whatever we want.  People choose to do bad things.  God doesn't bomb the twin towers.  People do.  4. God has a law that HE made.  What kind of a Father would he be if he doesn't follow his own rules.  If your parents say that alcohol is not allowed in their house but then hide a bottle in their room, they're not being just.  So why does God allow suffering?  Bottom line: In order for God to take away suffering, he would have to take away our free will.  Physically, God can do anything, but morally, He lives (by his choice) within the boundaries of right and wrong.  Does God sometimes step in? I believe so.  Peter told the shooting story.  After the shooter shot his first round, he started to reload and he had his foot in the door.  This door was broken.  People have been having trouble closing and locking it.  The shooter slipped and the door closed and locked itself.  It was not supposed to do that.  The door wasn't built to lock itself, but it did.  The shooter ran away.  Peter believes that God stepped in and locked the door.  I believe him.

Week 8: Spiritual Pathways

One of my favorite speakers came this week.  I actually like all the speakers a whole lot.  But something about Jeff was different.  One thing I loved about him was he was a huge movie fan and liked to use movie clips to show God.  I love movies and I like connecting them to God.  But he had a sense of love to him to.  He spoke very sweetly.  He told us of all the spiritual pathways and the 5 dimensions of God.  His dimensions are Lover and Bridegroom, Husband, Friend, Mother, and Father.  Then he told us to write down which one we had trouble with.  I gave him my piece of paper and left.  Day 4 of that week, we had an encouragement day where we sat in different spots around the room and sat then waited for people to come encourage us.  Normally I sit there and wait for people to come encourage me so I waited. Nobody came so I figured that was God telling me to go encourage people.  He gave me the number 7.  I went and encouraged 7 people.  Sometimes I would sit down and see if anyone would come to me but nobody did.  After number 7 I sat down and then the people wouldn't stop coming.  7 people in a row came and encouraged me, one of them stood out to me.  God told me that he was infatuated with me and that he couldn't stop looking at me.  It was a weird concept for me.  God, infatuated with me?? Like what? It was an awesome encouragement time.  The next day Jeff gave us a couple of questions: 1. What thoughts of God do I carry to the world? What are my new names? 2. What compliments have I received the most from others 3. When do I feel God's pleasure? 4. What character issues is God highlighting in my life and 5: What moves me to compassion regarding the "least of these."  Most of those questions I answered: "Young Life." Obviously.  It's my passion and I feel alive with God.  But the one I had trouble with was the first one. So I didn't answer it.  As if he knew, he asked if anyone had trouble with the first one.  I raised my hand and another girl did as well.  Zoe (our school leader) took my notebook and my pen and everyone said things about me as she wrote them down.  Again, it was like it wouldn't stop.  They just couldn't stop, there was no pause. That's never happened to me.  I have a whole page of stuff that people said about me.  Some of my favorites are quirky, passionate x16 (passionate was said 16 times apparently) and I'm not afraid to be myself.  The person described as "This is who I am so deal with it."  I never noticed that about myself but it made me realize that I really was that.  What happened after that I kind of blanked out on.  Jeff started this prayer thing.  He said it was about the pieces of paper we turned in about the dimensions of God.  People were going to prayer for others. Honesty I forget why because of what happens next.  It started.  Jeff came to me first.  Me. Nobody ever picks me first.  I never thought I was special.  But Jeff came to me first.  Music was playing.  I was sitting in my chair.  My head was bowed and my arms were holding my elbows.  Jeff came to me. He put one hand on my arms and one around my neck in an embrace and he started praying.  Then he started stroking my back and he started saying how God wants me to come home.  God is proud of me.  My dad in heaven is proud of me.  He is proud of me.  He is proud of me.  He is proud of me.  Tears started welling up. NO I NEVER CRY! He prayed for me in this position for about ten minutes.  When he was done, my roommate Ursina held me as I cried.  Ashley (my small group leader) came and prayed with me.  I had no clue why I was crying but I was.  All I remember was that God is proud of me.  Next day was an opportunity that I was lucky to experience.  Our whole class was able to go to the mainland and go look at the Mayan ruins and go ziplining plus cave tubing.

Me

I'm in the middle.  Becky is the one laughing.  She found a pair of shoes in the river that fit her perfectly when she ripped her old shoes right before this.

Ursina and I.  We are 10 minutes from the border to Guatemala

The adventure day was so fun! We left at 5:00 am.  The boat driver let me and other students drive the boat.  I was able to finally see a sunrise.  It was magnificent.  It truly shows God's faithfulness.

Week 9 Rest Renew and Restore

This week we didn't have a speaker.  It was a rest week.  I won't go into very much detail because nothing much happened.  There was a lot of sleeping (I was slightly sick).  One of my favorite nights was Karaoke Night.  It was more like lip-syncing though.  Some performers were very animated.  My solo was "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama.  It was epic.  We also had a pool party one night for dinner.  We had a team building where we had a scavenger hunt, that was super fun!  Oh and also the past 3 weeks our beach has been invaded by seaweed.  And it stinks like poop.  One Saturday, our whole base was cleaning it and it wouldn't stop.  Today it was out so far it was like an ocean of seaweed.  Anyways, God did do something in rest week.  I cried. Again.  I have no idea what's going on.  So remember the timeline?  It was recommended that I go through it with my small group leader.  Ashley and I chose Saturday which we didn't have very much planned.  So at 11:30 on Saturday we sat in a casita and we started to go over it.  I told her about my frustrations with it, how I couldn't really think of anything but I felt like God told me to go over EVERYTHING that I wrote.  My timeline didn't look like a timeline.  I just wrote all around the paper.  It wasn't in a line it was just in corners or upside down or in shapes.  I try to be as creative as possible.  I started when I was young.  Then as I got older I started to get a little uncomfortable.  All of a sudden I was remembering things.  Such as a certain time when someone cropped me out of their picture or a huge fight I was in.  Every time I remembered something I went silent and I thought about it. "How could I forget that?" This whole time I'm playing with a pointer stick that was in the room by the way.  It was very fun and I like to do stuff with my hands while I'm talking.  I skipped over one event because I did NOT want to talk about it.  But God kept telling me to.  But I wouldn't listen.  I finished with my life but there was still that one event.  Ashley didn't pressure me but she asked me if I wanted to.  I stood up.   I had to walk around. I did some stretches.  Ashley is talking to me.  I was very very uncomfortable but I had to move .  My hands were very sweaty.  I didn't want to talk about it but God was telling me to.  I sat back down.  Ashley gave me a pillow and I hugged it.  Then I asked her to read it instead of me saying it because the words literally would not come out of my mouth.  Ashley didn't say anything but I cried.  Then I stopped myself cause I don't do that.  We went through a prayer where I had to forgive.  That was hard.  Forgiving is so hard but I knew I had to do it.  And I did.  I didn't think I would mean it, but I did.  The conch blew.  It was 5:30! Ashley gave me a sheet of paper with all truths that she had been writing down.  She told me to say them out loud.  Now I start sobbing.  I haven't sobbed in awhile.  I couldn't say some of them.  I couldn't.  And again I didn't realize why I was crying but writing this I think I know why.  I have a hard time with the truth.  The good and the bad.  When something is true about me and it's good I have a hard time accepting it.  And then when it's bad, I don't want to admit it.  All these truths that Ashley told me were true but I didn't know how to accept it.  I don't know how many times I said, "I have a voice, I am heard!"  She made me say it a little louder too.  My favorite one that she put down was "God will never crop me out."

Thank you Dad for all these wonderful memories that you have given me.  Thank you for all the things I learned, all my supporters, and whoever is reading this.  Thank you for however you spoke to them and I pray that you move their hearts. Amen

You better belize it.

As soon as I entered security, that's when it hit me that I was on my own.  I have never flown alone before, or even out of the country.  Tried 2 new things that day.  I only slept for 2 hours, so naturally I was tired.  I had a connecting flight in Dallas.  Then from Dallas it was to Belize City on the mainland.  I slept on both flights (not well but it was sleep).  As soon as I entered Belize City, I was extremely hot.  I was wearing tennis shoes with cargo pants and a sweatshirt.  I immediately took my sweatshirt off and found my way towards my gate.  Then from Belize City to San Pedro, I was to fly through a very small airline.  The flight was 15 minutes.  When the airport worker found out I was flying alone, she allowed me to sit in the cockpit.  That was fun.  I saw all the little islands and then we landed in the town of San Pedro.  The airport was a strip and then a square building.  It was very small.  I was greeted by two staff members and then one of them led me and another student to the base.  To get to the base, you have to get on a boat.  (If not, it would have been a four mile walk)

As soon as I got to Woodleaf, I was meeting people like crazy.  It was very energetic.  When I got to the YWAM base, one of the first things I noticed was how quiet and calm it was.  This caught me extremely off guard.  I was shown to my room and I was going to have 3 roommates.  Then the girl that showed me to my room, Brittany, said "Don't worry about the geckos, it's normal for them to be crawling on the walls."

"What?!" I said.  Geckos!  "Oh yeah, you'll hear them, it's normal."  My eyes went wide.  The first thing that popped in my mind was "Oh shoot dang."  Great, geckos.  On the walls.  That night I did spot a gecko right next to me on the wall.  I was scared out of my wits.  But they were more scared of me than I of them.  They also make this really high pitched noise that freaks me out.  The next night, I put headphones in so I didn't have to hear them.  Ignorance is bliss, right?  But now I am used to them.
One of the many things I like here is that I don't wear shoes.  Shoes make my feet sweaty and smelly.  Here, I never wear shoes unless I go into town.  Another thing I like here is a Belizean specialty called a fry jack.  I can't really describe it, but it is heaven.  Just google it.  I have made great relationships here.  There is a variety of us.  5 of us are from all over the US.  And then there's a Canadian, German, Norwegian, Danish, and a Swiss.  So we're very diverse.  The German girl was very excited about the World Cup.
Here at the base there's certain requirements, one of them was Academics.  Everything is oral.  We have to give oral presentations of the Gospel, a certain topic, 4 book reports, and a devotional.  The first was the oral gospel.  It was supposed to be 3-5 minutes.  I practiced the night before and when I went up there, I was very nervous but as soon as I started talking, the words just flowed through my mouth, like God was speaking through me, because he was.  Yesterday (July 21) I had to give my book report.  The book I chose was "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  That one I felt as though God told me to just talk.  And that's what I did and it went very well (it was a little short but still good.)
On Week 3, our speakers were YWAMers from Texas but spent the majority of their life in the YWAM base in Cape Town, South Africa.  They were born and raised in South Africa.  They had accents and everything.  At this point, I haven't felt God yet.  And I wasn't expecting too.  I didn't believe that God loved me.  I thought that he ignored me and that I was a thorn in his foot.  They talked about the Divine Plumbline.  It's very hard to explain in words what it is, but I sat there listening and what I loved about them was the stories that they told.  They have seen so many miracles and mended relationships, it was incredible.  But that wasn't me.  I didn't believe God can do that to me.  I felt as though my heart was very hardened.  I hadn't cried in 6 months.  And before that was 4 months.  I'm not easily moved.  On Wednesday, we were given a homework assignment.  We had to write a letter to God.  Then we were to pause for a minute and wait for a response and then write down God's response.  My first thought was "Great! God doesn't talk to me so this will be interesting."  We were to just keep writing and don't stop. Just keep writing.  I sat in the library and wrote my letter and then I wrote God's response.  It was very strange.  My pen just kept writing.  The next day we had to read them aloud.  I kept my head low, but Barbara (our speaker) called me out.  Everyone before me was crying and I thought: "Pshh, wimps. I'm not gonna cry."  I went up there.  Note: this isn't the whole letter because some stuff is personal that I don't want to publish online.  The ... is where I cut off something.  Anyways this is what I wrote:
Hey Dad,
I don't know really know what to write.  I do this all the time but now I'm drawing a blank. I pause here. Because I read my next line and it sinks in. What's wrong with me?  Why don't you love me? I skip the last question when I read aloud because I felt ashamed but God told me to go back and read it again.  I want to trust you, but it's so hard when you don't talk to me.  What am I doing wrong? Dad, I feel hurt...It makes me think that you are calling me selfish and uncaring.  And that I'm a pain to be around.  Is that what you think of me? My pen is running out.  I feel as though you don't want to talk to me. I don't understand. -Sami

Dear Sami,
That's right, don't forget the star. I use a star in my 'i's.  Because you are a star.  I have not forgotten you.  You are my most precious child.  Don't pause.  Keep writing.  Those bugs are bothersome, huh?  I created them. Haha.  Don't you worry my child.  I have something planned for you.  You are going to do great.  You're going to be my shining star.  My golden star.  And don't you worry about funds.  I'll talke care of it.  I will always take care of you.  I won't go.  I'm always here in your heart.  Just call to me.  And I will answer.  Yes, this is really me.  It's ok. It's ok. Don't be afraid. I love you. Just trust me. Ok? I had a vision of a scuba-diving OK sign which is basically you make an 'o' with your thumb and index finger. Cool.
Love,
Daddio

For the first time in 6 months, I cried.  I broke.  For the first time, I was sure that was God talking to me.  Those were God's words.  He said that to me.   The next day we all got in a circle and our speakers and peers prayed for us.  I was the last one (partly because I was trying to get by it.) When it was my turn I cried again.  I explained the areas where I was hurting.  I couldn't believe it. Twice in two days.  God gave me another letter spoken through a couple staff people:
 "You are my child, my child.  The only thing that has pained me, is that you have been hurt."  I won't say the whole letter because it's holy to me.  These letters that God has written I hold very dear to my heart, becuase they are his words.  While they're praying for me I had a vision of a big man holding a heart.  It's my heart.  There are little shiny spots in my heart (like diamonds) and the man (who is God) is pointing out all the shiny spots.  It's the stuff that he adores about me. The way he points at them makes him giddy, because he created me like that. He was proud of me.

Quick sidenote:  Our meditation passage this week was Psalm 51.  In Week 1, the staff handed us pieces of paper that had little sentences of what they were praying for.  One of my sentences was "Restore the Joy."  I was taken aback because I felt joyful at Woodleaf and then I went home and I felt as though God took away that joy.  Now I'm reading the meditation passage and one of the verses says "Restore in me the joy of your salvation."  That line stuck out to me.  As I'm meditating with my worship music going (on shuffle) the song "White as Snow" by Jon Foreman comes on which is based off of Psalm 51.  Ok God, you want me to restore the joy.

Back to the prayer circle, after praying everyone did some encouraging to me.  One of the staff members said: "I just have a word for you. Restore.  I don't know, it just came to me."  I think it's about time I find out what this word means.  The definition I looked up was "to bring back."  Yesterday, we had to sign up for our topical presentation.  One of the topics was "Restoration."  I knew God wanted me to take it so I did.  So I'm still figuring it out.

About a week ago, I found out where my outreach is going to be: Jamaica.  The other option was Chile.  And it turned out in the end that God wanted us all to go to Jamaica.  So our whole team is going to Jamaica which made us all very happy and surprised.  Our focus is Discipleship through Relationship.  When we found out, half of our fees were due that Friday (July 18)  On Wednesday (when I wrote my letter) I saw that I needed $1000 more.  A little discouraged, I thought "How am I going to get $1000 in two days?"  That's when God told me not to worry about the funds.  The Friday the dues are due, I get an email saying that they've contributed $1000 to my Outreach.  I couldn't believe it.  I'm no longer worried about my fees because I know God is going to provide.

Folks this is only a nutshell.  I think I will save more for my next post. God bless!

Woodleaf - Month Only

I got back on Friday.  I had to leave a day early in order to transition into something new.

Day 0.  As my parents drove up the hill to Woodleaf, I started to get sick.  I was very nervous and tempted to yell to turn back.  What if nobody liked me?  What if I didn't like anybody?  All these anxieties piled up, but I kept them quiet.  When I got there, I didn't know where to go so I stepped into the office that I was going to be working in.  It was the right place, it was where I checked in.  First person I met was Jen.  She was going to be my intern (kind of like my boss).  Then after I stepped outside this little blond boy asked me if I was looking for the girl dormitories.  (He immediately won my heart).
    I met my coordinators (Daniel, Amy, and Justin).  Then I headed up to my room and the first girls I met were Ashlee and Brittany.  Turns out Ashlee was the other office girl and we hit it off.  We both liked Pokemon (yes I am a nerd), we both liked the color blue, and were both single ladies (as was our intern Jen, so you can imagine what kind of conversations we had).  After that I began meeting so many people. We had a big group of people just sitting and getting to know each other.  I thought to myself, "Dang, this is so easy!"  We all had the same passion: Young Life.  A bus came carrying the rest of Team 614.
    Team 614 we had a certain structure. 614 stands for the month and year we were working June (6) and 2014 (14).  We stood on a foundation of gratitude covered in prayer and our pillars were humility, hospitality, excellence, and intentionality.  Another saying they had was "Do everything you're asked of +1".  This assignment was going to challenge me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
There is so much that happened on Day 0, I can't even put it into words.  Long story short: I made some great connections and we went to bed late.

Day 1 of Week 1
Got up, had breakfast. Went to training.  This was my job:
Greet anybody that came into the office.  Answer the phone with "Good Afternoon (or morning, or evening) Young Life's Woodleaf, this is Sami."  If there was a call for someone on property staff or an intern, I would have to radio them.  This was the scary part.  I have never used a radio in my life, except when I was younger and I was playing.  So, I would have to say something like "Jen, copy Jen."  This was the hardest thing, but I eventually got used to it and gained confidence.  The office was open from 8am-8pm.  So Ashlee and I switched off mornings and evenings.  We had to bring each other the meals that we were missing and whatever notes to give to campers and head leaders. (Head leaders were like our connection to campers, bless their heart).  On every Day 1, the buses would call us tell us that they were heading up.  Day 1 was definitely the most stressful.  That night was the Obstacle Course.  It was the first event and my job was to help coordinate a dance for the girls.  The song we danced to was "Run the World (Girls)"  I did not choreograph the dance but it was simple and easy to learn and you can tell that the girls had fun.  But after they learned the dance, they would go outside and start the Obstacle Course.  The purpose of the course was to get the campers to trust their leader.  A lot of the obstacles had to do with working with their leader and trusting them.

Day 2 of Week 1
The activity for this day was unity games.  I was handling the frisbee station.  At first I was pouring Kool-Aid into little cylinders, but that idea faded.  How the frisbee station worked was I would throw frisbees and the different cabins had to catch them and then walk them back to me.  But high schoolers don't exactly listen the whole time.  I would throw them and then they would get thrown back.  Every group did the same thing.  I got a couple of bruises on the second day.  But it was so worth it.  I had fun anyways.  The activity for that night was dodgeball and my job was to hand out ice cream towards the end.  I loved interacting with the campers.

Day 3 of Week 1
This is probably my favorite day of the week.  The morning activity was Messy games, unfortuneatly, I was working in the office during Messy games but I went the next week.  That night was Tableau.  In French that means "frozen picture."  All of Work Crew (the high schoolers there for a month) and Summer Staff (the college kids there for a month) would play a role.  Campers would exit their cabin time to find almost 100 people frozen in this western theme.  My role was a priestess.  There was a couple getting married and I was performing the ceremony.  As the campers were coming out, all of them were staring at us and trying to make us laugh.  I stayed hard.  Then we heard the gunshot go off and we all started moving.  30 seconds later the gunshot went off again and we froze in whatever we were doing.  The program people (the people that managed all the skits and events) would do their skit and play their roles.  Our cue was the song "Happy" and we all started dancing.  Then we would freeze again.  After that campers would come down and try to make us laugh.  I had a camper dance her rear end right in front of me.  But again, I stayed hard.  Campers then changed into their western clothes and ate dinner while we set up for square dancing.  Square dancing was probably my favorite part.  My partners were always great.  I can recite the whole song: "All join hands as you circle the ring. Stop where you are, give your partner a swing.  Swing that girl behind you.  Swing your own if you've felt she hasn't flown.  Allemande with your sweet corner maid. Do-si-do your own. Now we all promenade with your sweet corner maid singing oh Johnny oh Johnny oh."  I heard it way too much, but it was the best.  At first it would start off slow, and then it would go faster until you were out of breath.  After square dancing, the kids would go through a dance through the ages where they played well known songs from the decades for about 20 seconds then move on to the next and kids would dance.  The last song would be the conga and the goal was to get everyone in the conga line, and the leader conga (ed) all the way to the pool and kids jumped in the pool.  That is a fun-filled day.

Day 4 of Week 1
Day 4 is when things start to chill down.  There is only a morning activity.  The Regatta.  The Regatta is basically water games, but some out of water stuff.  There's a triathlon, there's a sand castle building contest, a synchronized swimming tournament, and a jousting tournament on the lake.  My job was to direct the runners on where to go.  That night was the cross talk.  Campers learn how Jesus died on the cross.  I went to this Club every week.  (Club is a term that Young Life uses for the gatherings for talks and up-front games)First thing was the musician would sing the songs: Treasure, Disney Medley, and I Still Haven't Found What I'm looking for.  Then Elsanna (Spanish for the sauna ;) would go up and ask Ollie to go to Woodleaf (a spoof of "Do you Wanna Build A Snowman.) "Do you wanna go to Woodleaf, Come on let's go and play.  I really want to blob with you and when we're through, get a Whirley by the waaaay.  Cause you are my best buddy so come to play, then we'll have cabin tiiiiime.  Do you wanna go to Woodleaf, it's gonna be here at Woodleaf!"  I might have gotten a few things wrong.  After she would sing a techno song would come on and a big snowman would come out.  Then they would pull the curtain and reveal 2 campers on a "wrecking ball."  The game was for the campers' leaders to be blindfolded and then throw tennis balls at the campers.  The campers would try to catch them and put them on their head (which had a Velcro helmet attached).   Then the musician would go up again and sing one of his original songs.  Then our speaker, Lily, would go up and give the cross talk.  After the talk on Day 4, campers would go into 15 minutes of silence and sit outside and watch the stars.  They were encouraged to talk to God in this moment.  All the lights were turned off so that they can see the stars.  On every Day 4, Summer Staff and Work Crew would have their meetings.  There was maybe 2 or 3 songs of worship and then somebody would go up and say a message on one of our pillars (Humility, Hospitality, Excellence, and Intentionality).  I loved this night.  Everyone was finally together and we just worshiped.

Day 5 of Week 1
Breakfast in bed and sleep-in day.  Praise Jesus.  Except I didn't know that it was sleep-in day and I got up early, got my coffee and thought there was going to be morning devo (devotional).  That day, I did not start right.  Day 5, there are no activities.  I also went to the club that night.  This club, the Work Crew had this thing called "Cardboard Testimonies."  Campers would walk into club and the whole Work Crew would be singing "You Are Holy (Prince of Peace)" It was very beautiful.  Then about 5 people at a time, they would lift up cardboards of how they thought of themselves or how they struggled.  Then flip over and what God did to them.  Again, very beautiful and moving.  After Work Crew was done, the last segmant of "Life Signs" would go on.  The whole club room was dark and 5 people sat in chairs.  Whoever was talking, got the spotlight.  One of my coordinators was one of them.  Some past clubs, they have been talking about their lives and how they came to God.  This was the only one I saw.  Then the last part was probably the most beautiful that moved me the most.  It was called the "Everything Skit."  You might of heard of it.  It is a perfect picture of what Jesus did.  Some fellow Summer Staffers put it together and practiced hard for it.  Ashlee, my partner in crime, was in it.  I looked at other versions on YouTube and my favorite will always be the one that they did.  I encourage you to look it up.

Day 6 of Week 1
This day is also very chill.  Not a lot of activities is planned but it is the White-Out dinner where we are supposed to be dressed in all white or black.  This dinner was fun for us girls because it was kind of fancy and sophisticated.  Day 6 is another favorite because it's very relaxed and I didn't have much to do.  But that night was Carnival night.  Normally this night is on Day 2 but this week it was on Day 6.  The station I handled was the ping pong station.  Kids would toss ping pongs and try to make it in a jar (kind of reminds you of something, right?).  The other stations were a frisbee station, a BB gun station, a bull-riding station, a "Make-Me-Laugh" station, a skee ball, a balloon station, and plenty more.  After every activity kids were given tickets.  Then, they would cash in their tickets to pie or water dunk their leader.  Or for cotton candy and popcorn.  I was excited the first hour but then I got very tired and was ready for bed.

Day 7 of Week 1
The morning campers leave.  The club for this morning is campers accepting Jesus into their hearts.  Young Life calls them "Say-So's."  It also was when the International Offering would take place.  The offering was for kids in other countries who can't afford to go to camp.  Anyways, a big chunk of the club room stood up, I would say at least 45 kids stood up accepting Jesus.  It was awesome.  As soon as campers left, Team 614 had a dance party.  Then we got ready for Turnover.  Ashlee and I deep-cleaned the Mayor's Office, mopping and sweeping, and balanced the cash drawer, and counted the International Offering.  I was very surprised every week of how much people gave.

Then it was Day 1 all over again.  There were some very special weeks.  One week, we had over 80 Capernaum kids.  Capernaum is part of Young Life that specializes in kids with disabilities.  There was one kid, Trey, who came the first week who connected with the lifeguards a lot.  He wrote them letters afterwards and called the office quite a lot.  The last week we were there, he called almost 5 times a day.  One day, Ashlee talked on the phone with him for an entire hour.  He showed me how impacting Young Life can be.  The last week, we had a group called Impacting Hearts.  These kids grew up in foster care homes.  Many were broken.  Many brought weed.
   I can't remember what Day it was of Week 4, but it was a Club where Life Signs were happening.  Except instead of 5 people, it was 6.  They added someone.  He started talking about how he grew up in a foster care home and how he didn't meet his mother until college.  When he met her, he asked her: "Do you even love me?"  Then the kids were given the opportunity to reflect.  One kid in the way corner of the room raised his hand.  He was from Impacting Hearts.  He asked if he could come on stage.  So he did and he embraced this man for a solid 3 minutes.  They didn't even know each other.  Then the whole room was crying and hugging each other.  Good job God.

Working in the office was challenging.  I had a bunch of free time.  I read "The Fault in Our Stars."  One day I even spent 3 hours in the Bible.  People asked me if I ever got bored.  My answer is no.  I never did.  I journaled, I read, and I meditated.  Plus I got lots of visitors and had some sweet conversations.  I loved working in the office, I don't think I would do it again but I would say that about any job.  God taught me how much I needed this community, how important it is to meditate on him, and he prepared me for what is going to happen in about 6 hours.