Everyone asks, "So how is it being back?" And I always say the same answer. It's hard. I am used to being surrounded by people that uplifted me, encouraged me, and talked about Jesus EVERY DAY! And now, there are some people that I talk to and they get freaked out that I wanna go deep with them. Now that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with those people. I just went on this life-changing adventure, there are people that want to hear all about it and then there are people are like "Yeah, you went to Belarus and Japan that's great. Heard enough." Then there are people who say, "So how's college going for you? What school do you go to again?"
It's also hard when there are inside jokes that you are used to saying aren't that funny back home but are HILARIOUS to you. Another hard thing is I woke up to the same people every day for 5 months.
My 3 other roommates were no longer sleeping in the same room as me. I was no longer waking up with them or walking to breakfast with them or going back to the our little house with them.
I have come back to a home where I have radically changed but home has stayed the same, therefore I have to learn to stay my radical self instead of falling back into a routine. I wanted to stay radically different.
YWAM has its different speakers every week and they speak about God, but since I have been back, God has been my speaker every week. And my word for the season is BLESS. Most of the quiet times that I have been having, God has been blessing me in so many different ways. Now I am going to tell you something that is told to us all the time, but I may have just accepted it as true.
God wants to bless me. God wants to give me the desires of my heart. Parents want to spoil their child, therefore; God wants to spoil me. Because I am his child. HIS child. During college winter break, my best friend Dani was home after spending a month in India and she invited me to go visit her Nana in Santa Cruz. I didn't want to pass up an opportunity to spend time with her while I could. So we drove to Santa Cruz and we took Nana out to Thai food. I had just spent a bunch of money on a huge trip so my finances are a little low but I had a job and I was learning to save. At this time I was trying to save money but I didn't mind paying. But in the end, Nana insisted on paying. It was a little blessing that I knew God was giving me. And the food was one of the best food I have ever tasted. On the way back, I didn't use my GPS for directions back just relying on my memory and road signs. We ended up taking the long road back, highway 1.
For those of you who have never been to the Bay Area, Highway 1 is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen (in the right season). There were huge fields of beautiful flowers and green mountains that kind of reminded me of Lord of the Rings and it's along the coast. So a wrong turn ended up being another one of God's blessings for me and I spent it with my two best friends. (Dani and Jesus).
The other thing that everybody asks is "What's next?" For most of you, I answered that I wanted to do a Young Life internship. Long story short, God told me in a dream that that may not be the best thing for me right now. But these past few months, I have had no idea what I was going to do next. I didn't know if I was going to be accepted into the internship or if I wanted to continue with YWAM or I even thought about doing a different missionary organization. All I knew was that I was a missionary and I wanted to pursue that in another country. So God gave me exactly what I wanted. (Remember, he wants to spoil me!!?) God has called me back to Belize doing a secondary school with YWAM called the FCM (Foundations of Counseling Ministry) that starts in July.
This didn't come suddenly. It was in the back of my mind the whole time but I thought that the internship I wanted was going to be The Thing That I Was Going To Do Next. The best way I can explain it is a story. © Britney Timberlake. Sometimes at work, when my boss asks a group of us "Who wants to help me out and set up our meeting." Some people raise their hands and some people don't. Those that raise their hands, will help. This is similar to the parable of the Great Banquet. God has invited me to this banquet and I am accepting his invitation and answering his call. God did not tell me, "You have to do the FCM" He just asked me and I am simply raising my hand.
Thank you for all who has invested in me during this time of my life. You are investing in me just by reading my blog and being interested in me and what I do. You are one of God's blessings to me.
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